I went back to work today. I had no idea it was Tuesday until I asked someone a question about a meeting Wednesday, and they reminded me that Wednesday is tomorrow!
I’m very tired.. I just went to drink some tea out of my empty cup and it made me sad 😂
I got up on time AND showered before work today, which probably didn’t even happen once last year. I got up late pretty much every day and was lucky if I managed a shower in the evening let alone every day.
Now you might think that sounds disgusting (and sometimes it is, I live it believe me I know), but it’s truly a battle for me to get out of bed, depression hangs heavy over my head and hiding in bed having a cuddle with the dog is a much easier and less mentally and physically tiring way for me to spend my day. Add into the mix that I rarely get more than 4 hours (broken) sleep a night so I’m constantly exhausted.
IBS and the chronic pain and fatigue it brings with it, well.. it’s rare I feel good enough to face the day let alone happy and healthy.
Does that sound like a lot? Well it kinda is.. and it’s my day to day, but! I am proud of myself for getting up and making a proper effort today. I may be exhausted but I do feel good that I did it, I won’t say this will be the ‘new me’ and I’ll manage it for the year or forever more (I’m worried about just doing a week yet!) but I am going to aim to make it a bit more of a routine for myself. If I don’t manage it every day, I haven’t done anything wrong.. but maybe the more I do manage, the easier it will become.
Happy new year to you all and I hope you manage to do whatever is best for you today too x