Celebration or confrontation..

It was my sisters 30th birthday, she went away for a week but had a big old gathering when she returned to celebrate with our very large extended family. I was really sad that I missed her actual birthday the day before, but was struggling with some pains and wasn’t sure I could make it. […]

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Am I lost?

When you’re young you have such firm ideas of how life should go. What age makes you a grown up, what it is that grown ups do.. houses, kids, marriages, jobs. I was so convinced that by my mid 20’s I would be a mother. All my life I’ve been great with kids, the go […]

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Return to work

I’m not sure if I’ve really mentioned this other than in my PTSD specific posts, but I have been signed off work since the end of January/beginning of Feb. I’m a little hazy on the specific date but it was around that time. I’d been struggling mentally for a while, and though I was already […]

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Affirmations

I didn’t do any affirmations for two or three weeks, it felt like too much pressure, but I think it was because I had had a relapse of some of my more intense PTSD symptoms so I just had to give myself the time and space needed to cope, and deal with those. ‘I am […]

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Affirmations

Does anyone else feel silly doing these? Maybe it’s because it’s so new to me but it can be oddly confronting, telling yourself you deserve good things, that you can do the things you want to, get what you want out of life. But, I am going to try and keep it up. We forgot […]

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Positive Affirmations

Do I deserve good things? Some days I get mad that I would even need to consider this, of course I do, doesn’t everyone.. But in the cold light of day, and the heavy dark that the night brings with it, it’s much easier to believe that I don’t. To lean into, and even rely […]

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Monday Monday!

Happy Bank Holiday Monday to you all, or just Monday if it’s not a bank holiday for you, from me and the spot on my chin that won’t go away! I actually have several all on my chin at the moment but only one central and eye catching, thanks hormones! I typically hate pictures of […]

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Showering is hard these days.

So, I’ve had a shower for the first time since Sunday. Is that gross? Sure. Did I smell? Absolutely. Does knowing that change anything? No, depression doesn’t care, and you pretty much just feel worse cause you know you’re being gross. I brushed my teeth, put some undies and a face mask on (my skin […]

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Three years ago..

Feeling reflective and wanted to share some of the positivity and love I’m feeling today during some darker times. Three years ago today we got engaged. At this point in time we should have been married for about seven months, but as you know a global pandemic happened. We’re hoping the wedding goes ahead this […]

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