So happy I didn’t succeed.

Eighteen months ago I tried to overdose on sleeping pills and antidepressants so that everything would stop. Six months ago I broke down. I got diagnosed with PTSD and opened up about my trauma for the first time. I’m not going to say life is sunshine and rainbows now because it isn’t.. well sometimes it […]

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Celebration or confrontation..

It was my sisters 30th birthday, she went away for a week but had a big old gathering when she returned to celebrate with our very large extended family. I was really sad that I missed her actual birthday the day before, but was struggling with some pains and wasn’t sure I could make it. […]

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Return to work

I’m not sure if I’ve really mentioned this other than in my PTSD specific posts, but I have been signed off work since the end of January/beginning of Feb. I’m a little hazy on the specific date but it was around that time. I’d been struggling mentally for a while, and though I was already […]

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Affirmations

I didn’t do any affirmations for two or three weeks, it felt like too much pressure, but I think it was because I had had a relapse of some of my more intense PTSD symptoms so I just had to give myself the time and space needed to cope, and deal with those. ‘I am […]

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Positive Affirmations

Do I deserve good things? Some days I get mad that I would even need to consider this, of course I do, doesn’t everyone.. But in the cold light of day, and the heavy dark that the night brings with it, it’s much easier to believe that I don’t. To lean into, and even rely […]

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PTSD Awareness Month

June is post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) Awareness Month. In the UK it is believed that 1 in 3 people will have experienced a traumatic event in their life. PTSD can affect anyone who has been exposed to a traumatic event – an event which provoked fear, helplessness, or horror in response to the threat […]

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Showering is hard these days.

So, I’ve had a shower for the first time since Sunday. Is that gross? Sure. Did I smell? Absolutely. Does knowing that change anything? No, depression doesn’t care, and you pretty much just feel worse cause you know you’re being gross. I brushed my teeth, put some undies and a face mask on (my skin […]

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Three years ago..

Feeling reflective and wanted to share some of the positivity and love I’m feeling today during some darker times. Three years ago today we got engaged. At this point in time we should have been married for about seven months, but as you know a global pandemic happened. We’re hoping the wedding goes ahead this […]

Read More Three years ago..